Wednesday, January 27, 2010

can't sleep tonight

Tonight from out of nowhere I just started crying while I was talking to my husband. I just started crying and told him how much I wanted to be a mother and I could not stop. It seem to just happen all at once. I did feel better after a good long cry! After that I talked to my husband anout the Lord and what He is able to do. I pray that my husband will get saved, to be in church worshipping the Lord together would be an awesome thing for me. He is a wonderful man though, I can't believe we are married sometimes. We have been friends since the third grade, went all the way through school together (i found him some girlfriends in school to!), and on our last semester of high school we just started talking more on the phone and one night he said (now we weren't even dating yet!) He said when we get married I will move you somewhere where you can have a pond behind our house with ducks in it. A couple weeks later he ask me out. As soon as I graduated we moved in together (my family about died..they said I was to young) I was to young but I guess everything worked out fine (: But I still haven't got my pond with the ducks!! I will have to post a photo that I have of me and him together at our eigth grade graduation.
young love Pictures, Images and Photos

Saturday, January 23, 2010

my friend Alicia

This is dedicated to my friend Alicia from consider it all joy blog
after reading a post that she had on there I felt inspired to write this about her
The heart of a woman:
There are certain people, special people that have to face the toughest of circumstances. They are everyday people yet they are extraordinary. If you saw them they would look like everyone eles. By appearance you would not know the daily battle that they face. They have strength to fight the battle, they have the endurance to press forward and the ability to be courageous in the fight. They are filled with hope that tomorrow will be a better day. There is a love deep in their heart and a compassion for others. Though their eyes are filled with tears there is a joy that remains in the heart. Patience has taught them the love that God has for us. Their faith is unmovable, unshakable, they have the peace of Jesus in their heart. This is the heart of someone facing infertility. Some of their journeys has ended in heartache, some in joy. Some are facing the storm right now. These are a strong group of women. With our hearts on our sleeves we will march on.

Monday, January 18, 2010

A new blog (=

I created another blog for random stuff that I write about. I just wanted to show you where it was at. I am certain there are not many that reads my blog but I am postint this anyways lol!! it is at http://laughoutloud4life.blogspot.com/

I AM ME.....

i am me Pictures, Images and PhotosI am me, I am no one eles but myself. For a long time I have compared myself to others. Compared myself to these women who are "fertile" and have families. I have compared myself to those that I went to school with, those that have careers and have success in everything that they have attempted to do. Sometimes I look at myself and think I have no career because I wanted to be a mother, I am not a mother because I am infertile. Where is my success. I know that it is not good to envy others but today I thought there are peoples lives that I do envy. Those that are mothers, those that have awsome jobs. And I thought there is no one that would envy my life. No one would want to trade places with me. I was feeling hopeless. I don't have a lot of money I don't know if I can even afford adoption at this point. But in the midst of feeling hopeless I can hear the word of God in my heart. I am rich because I am saved by his grace. Why would I want anyone to envy my life. The Lord came to this earth to have NO reputation but came in the form of a servant. He had not a place to lay his head, his purpose was to fulfill the will of the Father. That is what I am here on this earth to be, a servant of the Lords. If I never possess much on earth I am ok, because I know that I am laying up treasures in heaven. I still want to be a mother very badly but I am a child of the King and that is something to be grateful for. I want to grow closer to the Lord and follow His will for my life.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

deciding

My husband and I are thinking about going down the road of adoption. We really don't know where to begin or really what to do but I am praying that the Lord will guide us in the direction that He would have us to go. Please keep us in your prayers, I want to be a mother so bad and my husband would love to be a father.