Friday, November 20, 2009

It's Gonna Be With It

Help from the Lord

Well here is whats been going on. I had no positive OPK this month, I have been frustrated so bad. I have been drinking alot of cranberry juice to flush out my kidneys (i have to do this regularly to keep from getting kidney infection, I get them really easy) anyways my mother-in-law who is a lab tech said that this may have affected my OPK results. I am praying that is what happened. I go for bloodowork to get my progesterone level checked this morning. I hope I ovulated.

I went to church Wednesday night and I felt so burdened down when I got there. They began singing and when they had sang a few songs I felt the Lord dealing with me to go pray at the alter. So I went and prayed and cried for a long time. My sisters and brothers in the Lord came and gathered around me and prayed with me. I felt my buden getting lighter and lighter. I kept pouring my heart out to him, I was not going to get up from praying until I had completley poured my heart out to him. I began to feel strength in my heart, I began to hear guidance and answers from the Lord in my heart. I prayed that when the preaching came that the Lord would send me a message and to direct my footsteps and give me comfort and strength in my situation. When the brother began to preach I knew the Lord had answered my prayer and He had sent me the message I needed to hear. The message was that in the world you would have tribulation but in the Lord you would have peace, and not to worry because the Lord had overcome the world. And he preached about how we pray for something and it may seem impossible in mans eyes but that it is not impossible with the Lord. How that our faith is precious and how it becomes pure when it is tried in the fire...these trials we have to go through increases our faith. And he read the verse also about how we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;and patience, experience; and experience, hope: and hope maketh not ashamed.

I cannot begin to explain the burden that the Lord lifted of of me..I was so depressed and had worried so much I had myself sick at my stomach and could not even eat or drink anything without feeling sick. But He brought me out of that. I am still frustrated at times and I am anxious to get my bloodwork back but the Lord is helping me get through this and I don't know when but I still believe that I will get my miracle.
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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

holding on...

Well it has been a while since I have posted. I am still on the prometrium and clomid with no luck yet. I have had a very rough week. The devil has been fighting my mind so much and I have been once again falling into feelings of depression which is something that I try hard to stay away from. I want to feel like myself again, I want to feel happy again. I was so excited and believing that this was going to happen with all of my heart and now it is like I took a complete turn and feel it is not going to happen. Today all I could do was cry out to the Lord to just help me. I can't wait to get to church tonight. I know that the Lord will send me the help that I need to get through this valley. I know as we serve the Lord we have many valleys that we have to go through and I know that the Lord will help us through them all. Please pray for me.