Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I admit there are many times that I ask myself WHY. Why do I have to endure my family being in the shape that they are in? Why is it that my body is in constant pain? Why is it that I can’t have the family that I have always dreamed of? WHY? But it is not up to me to know why. I do not have any of the answers to any of these questions, I may never know. But that is where my faith is. That is the hope that lies within me. Hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not. Then do we with patience wait for it and we know that Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Walking by faith and not by sight is hard sometimes but I know that I must rely on the Lord to get me through these battles that I have to face. I know that I must rely on His Word to get me through. I want to be a mother so bad that sometimes it takes my happiness away. When I should be focusing on the good on my life and all the blessings, I focus on the bad and what is going wrong. I want to be a strong person that is a witness for the Lord. I feel sorry for myself way to much. But I know in my heart that the Lord is on control and I can’t do anything without the Lord on my side. It breaks my heart to see others who are going through this battle of infertility, I wish that I could take away all their pain. Right now I have several close friends who are going through this, and if I could take the pain away from them I would. It just breaks my heart to know what they are going through.