Saturday, March 7, 2009

today will be hard

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Today is my best friends baby shower which I am having for her. I dread it. I love her more than I could ever say but when I go to these baby showers my heart feels like it is being ripped from my chest, has any of you ever felt this way? I want this to be my baby shower, I want to be the one opening the gifts and bringing them home, and soon be expecting the miracle that I have longed for. I guess I am just selfish and jealous. I am venting on here saying the things that I will say to no one. I need help from the Lord today. Please remember me in your prayers that I can be a good friend and put my self and my feelings out of the way so this can be her happy day. I have not been on here writing lately, I have been so depressed and in so much pain. The pain in my muscles has moved into my arms and hands now so I get tired of I type a lot. But I am going to try to get back on here later today and catch up on some of your blogs. My friend Alicia, you know who you are, I am going to have read your blog I haven't had the chance in a while. Keep in your prayers today my friends.

4 comments:

Vicki said...

Samantha,

I will be praying for you tday. I know what it's like to always be throwing showers and never having one thrown for me. You are doing a wonderful thing by throwing your friend a baby shower, and I believe God will bless you for it.

Ashley said...

Good Luck girl!! I know how you feel, my best friend's baby shower is in May. We can get through this!!

Alicia said...

My heart breaks for you sister! I've never had to do that and I can't even imagine how hard that must have been for you. I think that what you did is a picture of self sacrificial love, your friend was honnored I'm sure. I don't think that your being selfish just honest. I love you and I'm praying for you.

Hear My Cry said...

Praying it went well.