Monday, December 22, 2008
I went Christmas shopping today (finally!) I came home and I sat in the floor. As I began to wrap presents I felt the peace of the Lord come over me. The thought of children didn't break my heart tonight, the Lord gave me peace tonight. I thought about the future though and the memories that I would make with my children. Listening to Christmas music, making candy, telling stories, and being with family. I can't wait until my children are in the bed on Christmas Eve and i can just imagine wrapping all of their gifts and seeing the excitment on their faces on Christmas morning. Although the days to come will probably be hard for me. The Lord touched me tonight and gave me some peace and I thank Him for that. In church Sunday the pastor preached from the book of Job and all the trials that Job had to endure. I think that it is good to read that book and to see all that he went through. The Word that was preached Sunday really helped me. The Lord is the one who puts families together. He is the Almighty, the Great Physician! The Lord has a perfect timing for everything. Even through the sorrows and the tears in my heart I know that the Lord is in control. The Lord has used this infertility to cause to me to lean upon Him, to be patient at times when it is almost impossible, and to love Him weather I become a mother or not. Laying our burdens at the throne of God is the best thing that we can do. Our lives are woven by the hands of God. We are part of something that is a lot bigger and greater than we are. Your life is a gift that the Lord has given you. I am longing so much for a child but my husband and I are enjoying the time that we have together right now. Loving one anothers company. My dream and prayer is to be with him until the day that I die and I thank God for having him in my life. I just pray that the Lord gives me something to do while I am waiting to be a mother. I feel like there is something that I need to be doing right now. A work that the Lord may want me to do.